The Grass is Always Greener on The Other Side

cr

No matter what you did and what you got
You always think,

the other got better than me

Comes from the idea of looking at a neighbours lawn and seeing it as better looking, healthier and overall greener then your own when in reality you’re just ignoring anything negative about it and downplaying everything positive about your own. Cr
it happen when i saw my coworker laundry place has better sunlight than mine so he can quickly dry he's laundry. But then i realise something that sunlight can make his room became hot. 
well it's okay to envied someone but not too much, cause there always be something that better than the others.

Be Positive!

Di Bawah Lampu Jalan

Sekarang diri ini udah official menjadi golongan "umum" pft. Segala-galanya bakal disama ratakan sama orang yang umurnya bisa sampe 90-an karena kamu adalah golongan "umum". Udah ga ada lagi deh diskon mahasiswa, cih giliran jadi mahasiswa pengen cepet lulus giliran udah lulus malah pengen jadi mahasiswa lagi. Gitu aja terus dulu pas SD pengen cepet SMP pas SMP pengen SMA pas SMA pengen kuliah pas kuliah pengen lulus pas lulus pengen SD lagi -_- ya tapi siapa sih yang gamau balik lagi ke jaman dulu? siapa coba? ya walaupun jaman dulu memalukan but it's the best time that i've ever had ya mungkin banyak orang yang ga setuju sama pendapat akoh ini tapi gapapa kok nanenun gwencanayo!(apasih) maksudnya pasti semuanya punya pernyataan/opininya masing-masing kecuali pernyataan ilmiah. skip. Golongan "umum" ini make me something ada yang hilang, ga betah, ga beban juga sih nih diilustrasikan kayak lo lagi bediri pas di bawah lampu jalan nah kan ada bayangan dibawah kaki lo nah itu si golongan "umum" mengelilingi lo, ga ngeganggu sih tapi dia ngelilingin lo terus kalo lo ga bediri di bawah lampu atau ngehindar dari itu lampu semuanya gelap, lo gabisa liat mau gamau lo harus bediri di bawah lampu itu jadinya lo bisa ngeliat sekitar lo. Asik ya ilustrasi gua mehehe. Yeah something like that. Gua udah masukin cv ke beberapa perusahaan dan sekarang masih nunggu panggilan dari perusahaan tersebut. Man, this is kind of slightly stressfull. Bisa ga ya? Rejeki gua disana ga ya? Kira-kira dosa gua bikin ngehambat ini semua ga ya? Ya Allah hamba tau engkau selalu mendengar dan melihat hambamu ini meminta yang kadang memintanya buru buru tapi cuman engkaulah sumber pertolonganku, tolonglah hambamu ini Ya Allah.. muach!

Time Change Everythings

entah mulai dari kapan waktu ini telah mengubah segalanya. bodoh. tentu saja waktu telah mengubahmu mulai dari kamu dalam bentuk lingkaran merah(darah). waktu telah menajdi sahabatmu selama ini tapi kamu baru menyadarinya setelah kamu membuka kembali lembaran lama. cih. sok klasik. mana peduli kamu dengan waktu di saat kamu menikmati momen. sekarang baru kamu peduli dengan sahabatmu itu. tapi kini aku membutuhkanmu untuk melambatkan detak-detikmu sahabat. karena aku takut apa yang akan "merubah" nantinya.

Sins

why there must be a sin? if Allah SWT promised heaven for the believer?

...

i stood pensive looking at the notes a friend who wrote it thereby complicated

and i nodded agree with writing that is in the record of my friend

and a few weeks after that, i bought some books with titled

"i got close you are near" by Yadi Saeful Hidayat

i find the answer!

"and (by) the soul and He who proportioned it. 

and inspired it (with discernment of) it's wickedness and it's righteousness

He has succeeded who purifies it,

and he has failed who instills it (with corruption)"

Ash-Shams (91): 7-10

everything was on our grasp

you can be good or you can be bad

sin is come from the lust that you can't control it and  can't manage it. example

if you can control your meal maybe you can lose your weight, right?

if you can manage your money maybe you can save your money

control and manage

that's why, there is patient and sincere

so we can be grateful to what Allah SWT gave to us

and if there is no lust maybe we can be like angel

no eat

no love

no children

no education

no science

no technology

everything was flat

...

Dear my Friend

something change with our friendship

it wasn't adversative or recreancy

but

become a silent and awkward

from comfortable 

to uncomfortable

you know why we can be like that?

because "something change" between us too

the "change" start from me

im sorry

im sorry from starting "the change" first

im sorry for telling you a promises that i can't or never dissapointed you

im sorry for indulgence you about our plans that we must get it in the future

im sorry for hear your daily problem

im sorry for try to solve your problem

im sorry for keep nagging you in the middle of night

im sorry for money that you spend for me

im sorry for that i ever exist in your daily life

im really sorry

i try to keep distance from you

i try to not care

i try to act cool 

i try to confirm me that my change doesn't change anything in your life

i try to confirm me that you doesn't care with my change

but

i can't

everytime i see your face, make me feel guilty 

im afraid that if you see me you realize that 

how close we are before can become so awkward right now

and make you feel more depressed

this guilty really burdensome

 cause i know who really you are

...

i hope that you accept my writing apologize